“‘Onomatopoeic’, she’d discovered in the dictionary, meant words that sounded like the noise of the thing they were describing, like ‘cuckoo’. But she thought there should be a word meaning ‘a word that sounds like the noise a thing would make if that thing made a noise even though, actually, it doesn’t, but would if it did’.”— Terry Pratchett - The Wee Free Men (via aeshnacyanea2000)
“Farming land around the city state, always at a premium, was now full of speculative building*. * A term meaning that the builder speculates about how far away he can be, and with how much money, before the buyer finds that the footings have, in fact, no feet, the septic tank is one foot deep with a tendency to flow backwards, and the bricks owe a lot to that most organic and venerable of all building materials, cow shit. The whole business traditionally begins with a plot, in every sense of the word. Entire suburbs were being built with such beguiling names as Nightingale Valley and Sunflower Gardens which had never heard a nightingale or seen a sunflower in bloom, but nevertheless were on the market with CMOT Dibbler Practically Real Estate and Associates, currently doing a roaring trade.”— Terry Pratchett - Raising Steam (via aeshnacyanea2000)
so you think you can stone miette and spit in miette’s eye?? so you think you can love miette and leave miette to DIE?? oh mother!! can’t do this to me mother!!!
All memes left on tumblr for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Queen
“Witches were very good at listening to what you weren’t saying.”— Terry Pratchett - Wintersmith (via aeshnacyanea2000)
“It is at times like this that the mind finds the oddest jobs to do in order to avoid its primary purpose, i.e. thinking about things.”— Terry Pratchett - Wyrd Sisters (via aeshnacyanea2000)
“‘When you break rules, break ‘em good and hard,’ said Nanny, and grinned a set of gums that were more menacing than teeth.”— Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett (via wellconstructedsentences)
“We’re really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.”— Pyramids (by Terry Pratchett)
(Source: book-quotes-and-moodboards)
“Tiffany was on the whole quite a truthful person, but it seemed to her that there were times when things didn’t divide easily into ‘true’ and ‘false’, but instead could be ‘things that people needed to know at the moment’ and ‘things that they didn’t need to know at the moment’.”— Terry Pratchett - The Wee Free Men (via aeshnacyanea2000)
“Admittedly–and it took some admitting–he was a lot less of a twit than he had been. On the other hand, there had been such a lot of twit to begin with.”— Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
“It is very easy to get ridiculously confused about the tenses of time travel, but most things can be resolved by a sufficiently large ego.”— Terry Pratchett - The Last Continent (via aeshnacyanea2000)
“‘Someone got killed up here.’ ‘Oh, no,’ moaned Nanny Ogg. 'Not inside the circle too.’ 'Nope. Don’t be daft. It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer'n the other. And a beard. He was probably a hunter.’ 'How’d you know all that?’ 'I just trod on 'im.’”— Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
“Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.”— Terry Pratchett
(via koolinus)
“‘I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord.’ ‘Indeed? Then if I were you I’d sue my face for slander.’”— Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic
“Local people called it the Bear Mountain. This was because it was a bare mountain, not because it had a lot of bears on it. This caused a certain amount of profitable confusion, though; people often strode into the nearest village with heavy duty crossbows, traps and nets and called haughtily for native guides to lead them to the bears. Since everyone locally was making quite a good living out of this, what with the sale of guide books, maps of bear caves, ornamental cuckoo-clocks with bears on them, bear walking-sticks and cakes baked in the shape of a bear, somehow no one had time to go and correct the spelling.”— Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad (via discworldquotes)
“To the air in general he said: ‘Coming here as if they own the place. HOW DARE THEY?’ Koomi’s mouth dropped open. He started to protest, and a kilowatt stare silenced him. [ … ] ‘Anyway, they do own the place,’ he mumbled. 'What?’ 'They, er, they do own the place, Dios,’ Koomi repeated. His temper gave out. 'They’re the sodding gods, Dios!’ 'They’re OUR gods,’ Dios hissed. 'We’re not their people. They’re MY gods and they will learn to do as they are instructed!’”— Terry Pratchett, Pyramids